The epic Kong Fu - 2012 - shadows

by Roman aka jar

posted by roman, jarhead, kong

Hi everybody and welcome to 2013!

2013? Damn this year, I mean 2012 went by pretty fast, many things happened and I think what follows now is something I never spoke that way before. I just want to write a honest review of 2012 for myself and maybe for those who are interested in. But this goes to quick again so I'll do it step by step.

Some of you might think "Where the hack is my Artbook now?" and we can tell you that it will soon arrive at your place. As we never did expect such a big success with the Indigogo Campaign we also did not expect so much hard work with the books and the campaign. We ask for your patience and promise your patience will be worth it. As you might have read via Indigogo campaign we will soon spread out an email asking you about having your name printed in the book. This will happen in the next couple of days. After recieving and sorting all the mails we got back we still need some time to finish the pages like "Thank you" and "Figure Index". Then the book will be printed and sent to us. As said we owe you all high end quality and that is what takes so much time.

Some of you might ask "But Christmas is long gone by now?" - yes, estimated delivery date was December 2012 but this is truely gone now. We both got sucked in by the holidays, a beautiful Christmas time and some vacation days over New Years Eve. I think everybody can understand that.
We arrived home yesterday and we are looking forward to get the project "Figure Art Book" in the final row. Thank you for your patience. The  Email about the Thank you page is not yet sent while I write this. You will see it sent when it arrives in your mailbox :)

Jingle bells! Jingle bells!

Maybe this post will be filled with thoughts about my own remorse. Maybe not. Somehow I feel my heart is heavy and this ain't a good start to dive into 2013. So I'll try to lift it with this honest post. I try. 2012 really was a massive year and when I look back on it the most important thing that comes to my mind is that I am thankful to be able to know the friends I know. I really met a lot of people the last year and I am happy about every nice person I've met. Believe me most of you are and I am truely deeply thankful for the friends, my girlfriend, my family, my cats ... I mean the things I got.

When I look back I see the last year was filled with a lot of great events I was able to be part of. Great Painting classes with great people, joyful figure events and nice painting sessions with my friends. Looking from this point it was a great year. But light can only be found if there are shadows. Honest talking about shadows - maybe it is because I went thirty last year and whilst a man is still a lion with this age he starts to think and remember about the past. Oh dear, you might think now :D

BÄM² Painting Class in Aachen

Painting Class in Versailles

One shadow that hit me hard last year was the lack of energies I encountered in the end of 2012. I got weak. I wasn't able to everything I did before in the same manner. Organising classes, painting like a mad bull, answering all the emails with questions I recieved, enjoying friendship and talk with friends ... somehow I just got weak and needed a break, but  with the Artbook Campaign this break seemed far away. Somehow I did regenerate but not in a healthy frame. I was filled with remorses all the time and was running from it. Don't ask me why but what I have learned is that running ain't a good thing. So I stopped and took a breathe. To get back energies and keep them I have to chance something in 2013. Paint more, spent more time in the studio. Less Internet, less facebook, less forums, less blogging. More high quality blog posts maybe. Getting back to MV originals quality maybe. More articles, more about sharing my thoughts about my painting, more, more and more ... but still less somehow. I think you will see the change in 2013. I just have to chance something as I this weakness I encountered was close to making me mad about my own remorses.

Another shadow, maybe the strongest one was loosing a friend. He did not die - he just called me and said what a big asshole I am. He told me I am the emperor of the german painting scene, he told me I am the reason why he didn't win something at german Games Day, he told me that french people won there only because I was up to do a painting class in France, he told me I am no honest person, he told me I am evil, he told me that I have a big evil plan with MV, he told me that he can see that plan, he told me that a lot of MV members are part of international contest judging, he told me that I ask for money to let painters win due all the judges I control, he told me so many crazy things that I did not know so far and he broke my heart because I wasn't able to find back the friend I lost during a 2 hours telephone call where I tried to talk normal and honest with him (in a low voice). Yeah that broke my heart last year. I won't go deeper into that shithole of memory but it really broke my heart and while writing these lines I feel the weight of them. Maybe this made me so weak in the end of 2012, who knows.

Sometimes you have misunderstandings with people. Sometimes you can't be the best friend to everybody. That is just normal and I don't have a problem with saying honestly what I think and feel to everyone - I did so over the last years very often, made it my main goal in getting connected with other humans. Being honest and true. Now when you recieve a phone call of a "friend" that was always a joy to met or talk to and share thoughts with after less contact over some months with such massive information included some of you might understand that it hurts to hear your "friend" yell at you at the telephone. Even more sad when he just doesn't listen to your own words during the conversation. There is nothing I could have done more honest and true and so I let this "friend" go. Just like a leave in the wind and the only thing that stays behind are maybe two broken hearts. Life is that way and a heart will be broken many times in a lifetime, but sometimes you just have to talk about it before it makes you grim. I am not grim, just honest and freeing myself from a weight I guess. Whatever, this gets into way to deep Kong Fu now :)

But where shadow there is light and I will soon write up a little more about light in the early posts of 2013 on Massive Voodoo, because light is always a healer. Right now I feel just lifted because seeing and knowing those shadows that hunt me myself.

Good old dear jungle, I praise you for sometimes being my diary.

Keep on happy painting and read you soon!
Sorry for such personal stuff up here ... nope, no remorse about that :D

Best Wishes and may you all have a great start in the year 2013.

... part 2 following soon!


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