Showing posts with label Jungle Spirit. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Jungle Spirit. Show all posts
Hey Jungle people,
today we got something very special for you, like we always do in the jungle.
Let's call it a virtual letter that arrived in the jungle mailboxes by Petra,
a german miniature painter on her very own journey like we all travel. If you want to see some of Petra's work or follow her journey, check this link.
It is an awesome read! Intruding, intimate, healing, personal.
If you do not take your time for it, it is your own fault.
I am absolutely impressed and I want to thank Petra for opening up like this. She asked
me what she should do with it. She'd like to publish it somewhere and did not know where she could find the best place to reach as many people as possible. Well, we can help with that :)
I added some photos to the text to seperate the wall of text and add some moments to breathe.
I also added a small comment here and there.
Enjoy and believe me - I am saying it again:
TAKE YOUR TIME AND READ THIS!
_____________________________________________________________________________
Petra:
What the heck am I doing here?
I worried a lot. I never knew why I would feel the way I did, but even in the best company I
sometimes felt like I don't belong; not because I was at the wrong place - it was more like a
submerged feeling of not being good enough and just playing a role to please the others (and
maybe to lull and please myself). It felt like not creating value for the team I am working in, not
giving back to the company that threw money at me every month. That all my achievements
only were met by luck and being at the right place at the right time. I am just lucky, but not an
achiever.
I was always afraid that "the others" might find out that I only screen played, pretended and was
not in the "right" position and that I did not have the right to be right there with them. All in all,
amazing people tend to cross your roads sometimes and you feel utterly lost and you look up to
them out of a muddy hole while they seem to get it all right. They shine. You don't.
It is something that followed me through my adulthood for quite a long time and most probably
started in university. It is an unnamed feeling that I never really understood and tried to ignore
most of the time. It made me feel miserable at work, because even if I worked hard and
succeeded, it faded away when I watched others doing the same stuff with ease. I pressured
myself to get into it even harder, fearing that one day my lead might approach me, telling me
that I am not good enough. Subconsciously I knew this would never happen. Well, no. I did not
know at that time. I can only tell in retrospective that I might have known, but my brain did not
tell me. My thoughts were haunted: when coming to work, this day might be the day they find
out I only gambled my way into the company (I did not). This day would be the day they find out
that I suck at what I am doing (I did not). This day they would tell me I need to resign because I
was not performing well (obviously I did not).
It made my life miserable. I did not know with whom to talk. It was discomforting, unpleasant and
not what I wanted to feel. But as soon as I spoke up, everyone looked at me with big,
unbelieving eyes. Some told me that "it's only in my head". People answered with laughter
because they could not believe what's going on. They tried to hide their own unease and not
being able to cope with this situation themselves, they stormed onward, telling me that I just
made this up and that it is not true what I was talking about. They did not believe that I could
feel this way and why the heck should I?
It got worse with every talk I tried to have with people around me. I hid in my cave. I was a
happy little person to the outside world, always afraid they could find out. Always chattering,
doing things, working hard, not trying to fail (and when I failed, I analyzed why, dug the car out
of the swamp and on I went, trying to not do the same error twice). I didn't even see or believed
in what I achieved, because it never was feeling good enough for me. It was like running behind
schedule, not being in charge anymore and I was going to lose it somewhere on the way,
making a mistake and taadaa: you're out.
A solution?
Then one day I stumbled over Neil Gaiman, and even though I have never read any of his
books (yet), I felt connected. It felt like he was describing me (and lots of other people will have
thought the same):

Source:
http://neil-gaiman.tumblr.com/post/160603396711/hi-i-read-that-youve-dealt-with-with-impostor
This is, what it is called! Impostor’s syndrome!
I'm neither crazy nor too dumb for the world.
Relief - finally! It is something I can start rolling up my sleeves to and attack. Something I can
hack into little pieces and devour one by one, making my life better again. I lived with the fact
that I have it (not tackling it at all) for a long time. Just knowing that this feeling had a name
helped a lot. Even though it did not stop my way down into the snakepit of what I also call my
brain.
Lots of webpages talk about impostor’s syndrome but I found this one to be a good overview of
all the aspects that also hit heavily in my life: http://on.inc.com/2sLeytw
Depending on the time and how well I felt, it was only lurking in the back of my head, not fully
there. Sometimes it unleashed its fury and pinned me down to the floor, unable to move, to
react and to tell people what was going on. Those were the times I just hid in the dark corners of
my soul, ready to attack everyone who came near. I cried, because I did not know what to do. I
asked for help desperately but there was none, because no-one near me could cope with it.
All of the information I gathered in the internet also meant that I am not alone on this road and
that there are lots of people that sometimes feel the same. And that other people can lift you up
again (just not by saying that “it's only in your head”). I know now that I myself cannot get out of
it alone, but that I might need help, someone to mirror me, maybe to assess me and to reflect
on my achievements whenever I am not able to see them.

Introduction: the miniature world
For all of you with a miniature background: you know what I am talking about. For all of you who
don't know: there is a community spanning the earth of miniaturists. People who play tabletop
games (not only Warhammer), people who paint little tin soldiers, plastic and resin miniatures,
busts, vehicles, aircrafts, trains, small animals, huge animals, sculpt, create, make art. It is a
small community, that is really active (and we grow). It is a vast field of gamers, enthusiasts,
collectors, painters, creators and builders. The community starts to get diverse, also women
take part more often in events. We have forums, facebook groups, instagrams full of tiny and
wonderfully painted art, flickr, Pinterest. We are everywhere. We have teachers who hold
workshops and seminars about light, ambience and painting. We have contests and community
events, big and small. Some of the bigger annual events take place in Bavaria, the Netherlands,
Italy, some in Australia and America, Poland and Russia - and even more. Those are the spots
where several hundreds to thousands of people meet one weekend a year and exchange
everything. It is about meeting old friends, finding new, conversate about painting, art and the
miniature economy. All in all a great place to find a whole bunch of creative people clung
together and exchanging creative energy.
Living in the miniature world with impostor’s syndrome
I am still on the road to escape the trap of not feeling worthy and good enough. In the miniature
world, it sometimes is still there; kind of returning "back home" to me. I was attending Scale
Model Challenge 2017 in Eindhoven and on Saturday evening after a splendid day, I found
myself holding a beer, surrounded by some of the (by me) most adored (and still alive) artists in
my life. Every one of them has been longer in the hobby, longer down the creation road than I.
They influenced the way we talk about miniatures, the way we see them. They created new
streams inside the hobby, new flows, new ways to work. They practise mindfulness, chaos,
anarchy and strictly ruled ways. They all had so much more experience, have done so much
more trial and error on their way. They have so much more to say. And then there was I - a
returnee into the hobby for roughly one and a half years. We chatted. And suddenly the wave
rushed over me again. I felt intimidated, at the wrong place, I wanted to flee because I haven't
wanted to be detected as a fraud again. I write "again" because it felt like being close to the
edge of a huge cliff with being there. My brain was in uproar: Now, every moment! They will lay
eyes upon you, judge you and make you go!
They did not.
I forced myself to stay. To listen (I always was a better listener than talker - and a better writer
than talker as well). I drowned in the laughter, the joy, the people. I was there. And I had the
right to be there. Even though I still did not understand why. They did let me stay and even
introduced me to new people. I was humbled. I was even fangirling a bit. And I was stuck. I
needed someone to ground me again. I was flying high, looking down at myself, standing there
in the middle of the night, surrounded by creative people. I adored each and everyone of them.
The creative energy that they exhaled filled my soul, and it was thirsty for more. But my mind
still tricked me into thinking I had no right to be here. I did not know what to do - please, please,
please do not turn on the spotlight on me, do not ask questions, do not interact with me; I am
happy for just staying here . Just smile and wave. They are all in all humble people and they
would never say any of those things, that were hammering in my brain at that moment, to
anyone. Still, my brain was firing everything of the above at full speed, light speed, even Warp
9.9 was not fast enough. It was a lovely evening that did not turn into a disaster - even if my brain foretold this a hundred times.
Fast forward to other events:
Everytime I show something to people, they are going mildly crazyabout what I created (or in the reasonable voice of everyone else: they like it). I receive the praise and the likes - but my mind was telling me " WTF! This is nothing. It is not even worth thetime and effort to comment on it, you people! Why are you even doing this?! Now you go on, brush off those words as if they mean nothing and move on. Go, create, because what you just did was shit ". My brain kills the happiness out of creating something that others liked. This sucks. Big time.
In social media times it is even worse.
I want to show the community what I did; also to train mywary brain to accept praise, likes and thanks. And with every like and compliment it feels like people overestimate what I did. Meanwhile I underestimate myself heavily - there are times Iunderstand that (most times I don't). There's no internal “success light” that switches on and enlightens the room when I finish something. Being proud on creations only lasts for a week max - which makes it a wee bit hard to always feel good about creating things. Being brave enough to show others has an even more limited time frame.
Looking around and trying to measure one's own "success" by comparing to others is just plain
odd and nothing one should do. There are so many talented and hard working painters and
artists out there who are on a different journey and skill level. But still we do it from time to time
(some people more than others). People write "I will go home and snap my brushes, I will never
achieve this level". Please don't kill brushes; you are just on another level of learning. I know I
commented about breaking brushes once on a posting as well (mostly, because I haven’t found
another way to express my deep admiration for the piece), paying into the whole comparison
competition. I do call it “comparison competition” because we tend to make a competition out of
mostly everything. This person is evolving faster, that one is painting cleaner than me. We are
excellent in making “comparing” a competition.
I don't know, but my own comment about snapping brushes might also have influenced another
person who read this comment back then to build up their impostor’s syndrome. I only
understand this now. People like me are rather sensitive when it comes to comments on their
own and other people’s works (mostly on their own works, though).
It's hard. It's in my head.
I need to deal with it - but I cannot do this alone (which makes me
angry and sad at the same time, as I want to have control over my life). I need you. Each and
every one of you in my life to at least help from time to time. To recall for me that feeling
incompetent and being incompetent are two different things. That I sometimes have unrealistic
notions of what it means to be competent. Also that it is in my head and that I have to deal with
it; you need to tell me that I am being unrealistic in my own view on myself. I cannot do this on
my own. Because I do not see it.
It feels like lots of people out there might suffer from the same. Maybe not as heavy as I did
somewhen in the last year - but if this helps only one person understanding that they need to
become aware about their impostor’s syndrome before being completely shattered to the
ground, then all my words are worth it.
Now, what can I do to live a win-win life with my impostor’s syndrome?
I talked a lot about myself and my path, my journey in this article. I don't know if it would help. It
is not a big deal (hello, impostor’s syndrome speaking again), and maybe no-one will read
through the end. But this is what I get from being open, and I need to understand that the
uncertainty that comes with publishing those words, might influence myself with even more
questions my brain might fire at me.
Lot's of the following points actually can be distilled into one short and easy sentence:
"No matter what: You are worth it."
(I don't say that often enough to myself.)
Following I will line out some things I tried and that helped me on my way (some more, some
less). In the end it is up to you. Try, fail, improve; listen to yourself and what helps you. It is not
working if you just follow the rules and you gain nothing from it. Debug yourself. If things don't
feel good, leave them and experiment. It is easy as that (wow, that took me long to understand).
So: not easy as that, but more like running a marathon. In a swamp. Even if done slowly (and it
will be exhausting), it will lead to your goal. The good thing is, there is no-one to judge you
except yourself. Be kind to yourself; it is like learning a new language or instrument or a new
painting technique. It might take some time, but you will master it eventually. In your own time.
Do not compete. Do not compare. You are good enough. You are worth it.
This really should be your mantra. :)
The nice thing about the following points is, that you can also use them for your daily work that
is not miniature painting.
● Have a schedule of when you want to work on things.
With everything that you are learning or that you try to improve, there is a good way to
practice. When I was young, my music teacher told to practise at least half an hour a day
(max an hour) with my instrument. Try to get into a routine and do not do overtime , not
even if the brain commands you to - it won't help (at least it did not for me). If afternoon
shifts do not work, try getting up half an hour earlier. Experiment. Maybe you are happy
with only painting once a week. Stick to it.
● Come up with a plan on what you want to work on.
Write down the techniques you want to learn, the miniatures you want to paint. Plan.
Planning does not necessarily mean that you need to stick to it 100% (plans are not set
in stone). But it helps you focus on what topics are still there to tackle. And written down
topics can be ordered, scheduled and moved around. You can set your goals, and the
steps that you need to take to achieve your goals. Write it down. Make a plan. Even if
you don't stick to it, you know where you want to head.
● Make realistic goals.
Rome was not build in a day. If you want to learn a new technique, try it, make errors,
ask people, watch videos, read blog posts, and the most important thing: go to
workshops, meet people, connect. You are on your own road and journey, you will never
be a fraud there.
● Take before and after pictures of your miniatures
(or everything else you create).
It helps getting focus. You can see what changed in the time you painted, even if it is
only minimal. And having all pictures lined up near each other also might help to see the
progress and improvements you have made.
● Create a miniature diary and add
what you liked to work on that day.
Put in colour recipes that worked, brush strokes, random thoughts, ideas, base designs,
scribbles and drawing, pictures of the progress, everything that you find adds value to
your miniature experience. It will be little at first but it helps you getting your creative
energy flowing as soon as you revisit the pages.
● Keep a personal diary and write down
at least one achievement per day.
This can also just be a Post It hanging somewhere - the key idea is to visualize it so that
you can see it. This challenge might be hard in the first time, as you won't see
achievements a lot popping up. But try. Maybe it is something as tiny as getting a perfect
lining, a blending that you saw. Reading (or writing) a blog post that you always wanted
to do. There can be so many things.
● Whenever viewing other artists pictures,
don't get discouraged.
They all have different lives, different styles, different backgrounds. As written earlier: try
not to fall into the trap of comparison competition.
● Another thing to keep in mind and repeat as a mantra:
It is not talent (even though talent gives you a head start). It is hard work (also: hard work can be fun work!). It is hours and hours of practice and study. Don't expect to perfectly handle a new topic in one day.
● Don’t compare your life to someone’s Highlight Reel.
And yes, this most heavily applies to social media. The pictures that are shown only relate to
the achievements, normally not to all the failures on the way. No-one wants to look bad
on social media. Everyone is smiling. Stop thinking that other people only have luck in
their lives.
● If you suddenly feel like a fraud in a situation, voice it.
It is difficult and you need some trust and maybe a safe space to do so. But it helps to voice your concerns and that you feel you wouldn't fit. Take care and time to approach people. Voice what you need right then. Tell people you cannot engage into small talk right now. Tell them you only want to
listen for a while because you need to have some space or you don't know how to
handle social interaction right now. This might be awkward at the beginning, but making
people aware of your condition helps relieving the stress that your brain puts upon you.
● If you see someone cope with impostor’s syndrome,
don't approach them and tell them "Hey, you have impostor’s syndrome!". Guide them passively. Tell them about your own way, your journey about not feeling good enough, and eventually they will open up. Help them see their achievements and the way they already went, if you are already closer to them. Offer an open ear and a helping hand.
● Take a picture of your first and most recent miniature.
You will see the difference; you are not an impostor, you get better over time and this is your outcome. No-one else will paint like you do.
● Just so you have something to hold in your hands and re-read it to understand that you are valuable and good in what you do: ask people to write you Kudo cards (it’s a tool that is usually used to increase recognition of valued work). Tell them they should write down
what they value in your work, your hobby, what they admire about you, where you are
succeeding expectations for them. Let them visualise a picture of you, so that you can
catch your mind as soon as it is out of the window again, telling you that you are not
good enough.
● Try to hold on to praise once in a while, don't shy away and go into duck-and-cover position. Gain trust in the fact that people tend to mean what they say. Even when they
say that they like something built by you. :)
There could be a million more ways to get out of the dark hole into which the impostor’s
syndrome is pushing us. Most of the ways apply to any other situation as well, it is not only
hobby related, I know. But this might be the first step into the right direction.
I am still on my journey.
How about you?
Petra :)
today we got something very special for you, like we always do in the jungle.
Let's call it a virtual letter that arrived in the jungle mailboxes by Petra,
a german miniature painter on her very own journey like we all travel. If you want to see some of Petra's work or follow her journey, check this link.
It is an awesome read! Intruding, intimate, healing, personal.
If you do not take your time for it, it is your own fault.
I am absolutely impressed and I want to thank Petra for opening up like this. She asked
me what she should do with it. She'd like to publish it somewhere and did not know where she could find the best place to reach as many people as possible. Well, we can help with that :)
I added some photos to the text to seperate the wall of text and add some moments to breathe.
I also added a small comment here and there.
Enjoy and believe me - I am saying it again:
TAKE YOUR TIME AND READ THIS!
_____________________________________________________________________________
Petra:
What the heck am I doing here?
I worried a lot. I never knew why I would feel the way I did, but even in the best company I
sometimes felt like I don't belong; not because I was at the wrong place - it was more like a
submerged feeling of not being good enough and just playing a role to please the others (and
maybe to lull and please myself). It felt like not creating value for the team I am working in, not
giving back to the company that threw money at me every month. That all my achievements
only were met by luck and being at the right place at the right time. I am just lucky, but not an
achiever.
I was always afraid that "the others" might find out that I only screen played, pretended and was
not in the "right" position and that I did not have the right to be right there with them. All in all,
amazing people tend to cross your roads sometimes and you feel utterly lost and you look up to
them out of a muddy hole while they seem to get it all right. They shine. You don't.
It is something that followed me through my adulthood for quite a long time and most probably
started in university. It is an unnamed feeling that I never really understood and tried to ignore
most of the time. It made me feel miserable at work, because even if I worked hard and
succeeded, it faded away when I watched others doing the same stuff with ease. I pressured
myself to get into it even harder, fearing that one day my lead might approach me, telling me
that I am not good enough. Subconsciously I knew this would never happen. Well, no. I did not
know at that time. I can only tell in retrospective that I might have known, but my brain did not
tell me. My thoughts were haunted: when coming to work, this day might be the day they find
out I only gambled my way into the company (I did not). This day would be the day they find out
that I suck at what I am doing (I did not). This day they would tell me I need to resign because I
was not performing well (obviously I did not).
It made my life miserable. I did not know with whom to talk. It was discomforting, unpleasant and
not what I wanted to feel. But as soon as I spoke up, everyone looked at me with big,
unbelieving eyes. Some told me that "it's only in my head". People answered with laughter
because they could not believe what's going on. They tried to hide their own unease and not
being able to cope with this situation themselves, they stormed onward, telling me that I just
made this up and that it is not true what I was talking about. They did not believe that I could
feel this way and why the heck should I?
It got worse with every talk I tried to have with people around me. I hid in my cave. I was a
happy little person to the outside world, always afraid they could find out. Always chattering,
doing things, working hard, not trying to fail (and when I failed, I analyzed why, dug the car out
of the swamp and on I went, trying to not do the same error twice). I didn't even see or believed
in what I achieved, because it never was feeling good enough for me. It was like running behind
schedule, not being in charge anymore and I was going to lose it somewhere on the way,
making a mistake and taadaa: you're out.
A solution?
Then one day I stumbled over Neil Gaiman, and even though I have never read any of his
books (yet), I felt connected. It felt like he was describing me (and lots of other people will have
thought the same):

Source:
http://neil-gaiman.tumblr.com/post/160603396711/hi-i-read-that-youve-dealt-with-with-impostor
This is, what it is called! Impostor’s syndrome!
I'm neither crazy nor too dumb for the world.
Relief - finally! It is something I can start rolling up my sleeves to and attack. Something I can
hack into little pieces and devour one by one, making my life better again. I lived with the fact
that I have it (not tackling it at all) for a long time. Just knowing that this feeling had a name
helped a lot. Even though it did not stop my way down into the snakepit of what I also call my
brain.
Lots of webpages talk about impostor’s syndrome but I found this one to be a good overview of
all the aspects that also hit heavily in my life: http://on.inc.com/2sLeytw
Depending on the time and how well I felt, it was only lurking in the back of my head, not fully
there. Sometimes it unleashed its fury and pinned me down to the floor, unable to move, to
react and to tell people what was going on. Those were the times I just hid in the dark corners of
my soul, ready to attack everyone who came near. I cried, because I did not know what to do. I
asked for help desperately but there was none, because no-one near me could cope with it.
All of the information I gathered in the internet also meant that I am not alone on this road and
that there are lots of people that sometimes feel the same. And that other people can lift you up
again (just not by saying that “it's only in your head”). I know now that I myself cannot get out of
it alone, but that I might need help, someone to mirror me, maybe to assess me and to reflect
on my achievements whenever I am not able to see them.

Introduction: the miniature world
For all of you with a miniature background: you know what I am talking about. For all of you who
don't know: there is a community spanning the earth of miniaturists. People who play tabletop
games (not only Warhammer), people who paint little tin soldiers, plastic and resin miniatures,
busts, vehicles, aircrafts, trains, small animals, huge animals, sculpt, create, make art. It is a
small community, that is really active (and we grow). It is a vast field of gamers, enthusiasts,
collectors, painters, creators and builders. The community starts to get diverse, also women
take part more often in events. We have forums, facebook groups, instagrams full of tiny and
wonderfully painted art, flickr, Pinterest. We are everywhere. We have teachers who hold
workshops and seminars about light, ambience and painting. We have contests and community
events, big and small. Some of the bigger annual events take place in Bavaria, the Netherlands,
Italy, some in Australia and America, Poland and Russia - and even more. Those are the spots
where several hundreds to thousands of people meet one weekend a year and exchange
everything. It is about meeting old friends, finding new, conversate about painting, art and the
miniature economy. All in all a great place to find a whole bunch of creative people clung
together and exchanging creative energy.
Living in the miniature world with impostor’s syndrome
I am still on the road to escape the trap of not feeling worthy and good enough. In the miniature
world, it sometimes is still there; kind of returning "back home" to me. I was attending Scale
Model Challenge 2017 in Eindhoven and on Saturday evening after a splendid day, I found
myself holding a beer, surrounded by some of the (by me) most adored (and still alive) artists in
my life. Every one of them has been longer in the hobby, longer down the creation road than I.
They influenced the way we talk about miniatures, the way we see them. They created new
streams inside the hobby, new flows, new ways to work. They practise mindfulness, chaos,
anarchy and strictly ruled ways. They all had so much more experience, have done so much
more trial and error on their way. They have so much more to say. And then there was I - a
returnee into the hobby for roughly one and a half years. We chatted. And suddenly the wave
rushed over me again. I felt intimidated, at the wrong place, I wanted to flee because I haven't
wanted to be detected as a fraud again. I write "again" because it felt like being close to the
edge of a huge cliff with being there. My brain was in uproar: Now, every moment! They will lay
eyes upon you, judge you and make you go!
They did not.
Scale Model Challenge 2017
- somewhere in the endless hotel labyrinth :)
I forced myself to stay. To listen (I always was a better listener than talker - and a better writer
than talker as well). I drowned in the laughter, the joy, the people. I was there. And I had the
right to be there. Even though I still did not understand why. They did let me stay and even
introduced me to new people. I was humbled. I was even fangirling a bit. And I was stuck. I
needed someone to ground me again. I was flying high, looking down at myself, standing there
in the middle of the night, surrounded by creative people. I adored each and everyone of them.
The creative energy that they exhaled filled my soul, and it was thirsty for more. But my mind
still tricked me into thinking I had no right to be here. I did not know what to do - please, please,
please do not turn on the spotlight on me, do not ask questions, do not interact with me; I am
happy for just staying here . Just smile and wave. They are all in all humble people and they
would never say any of those things, that were hammering in my brain at that moment, to
anyone. Still, my brain was firing everything of the above at full speed, light speed, even Warp
9.9 was not fast enough. It was a lovely evening that did not turn into a disaster - even if my brain foretold this a hundred times.
Fast forward to other events:
Everytime I show something to people, they are going mildly crazyabout what I created (or in the reasonable voice of everyone else: they like it). I receive the praise and the likes - but my mind was telling me " WTF! This is nothing. It is not even worth thetime and effort to comment on it, you people! Why are you even doing this?! Now you go on, brush off those words as if they mean nothing and move on. Go, create, because what you just did was shit ". My brain kills the happiness out of creating something that others liked. This sucks. Big time.
In social media times it is even worse.
I want to show the community what I did; also to train mywary brain to accept praise, likes and thanks. And with every like and compliment it feels like people overestimate what I did. Meanwhile I underestimate myself heavily - there are times Iunderstand that (most times I don't). There's no internal “success light” that switches on and enlightens the room when I finish something. Being proud on creations only lasts for a week max - which makes it a wee bit hard to always feel good about creating things. Being brave enough to show others has an even more limited time frame.
Looking around and trying to measure one's own "success" by comparing to others is just plain
odd and nothing one should do. There are so many talented and hard working painters and
artists out there who are on a different journey and skill level. But still we do it from time to time
(some people more than others). People write "I will go home and snap my brushes, I will never
achieve this level". Please don't kill brushes; you are just on another level of learning. I know I
commented about breaking brushes once on a posting as well (mostly, because I haven’t found
another way to express my deep admiration for the piece), paying into the whole comparison
competition. I do call it “comparison competition” because we tend to make a competition out of
mostly everything. This person is evolving faster, that one is painting cleaner than me. We are
excellent in making “comparing” a competition.
I don't know, but my own comment about snapping brushes might also have influenced another
person who read this comment back then to build up their impostor’s syndrome. I only
understand this now. People like me are rather sensitive when it comes to comments on their
own and other people’s works (mostly on their own works, though).
No brush should ever be destroyed.
They all should die in the name of painting.
They all should die in the name of painting.
Word.
It's hard. It's in my head.
I need to deal with it - but I cannot do this alone (which makes me
angry and sad at the same time, as I want to have control over my life). I need you. Each and
every one of you in my life to at least help from time to time. To recall for me that feeling
incompetent and being incompetent are two different things. That I sometimes have unrealistic
notions of what it means to be competent. Also that it is in my head and that I have to deal with
it; you need to tell me that I am being unrealistic in my own view on myself. I cannot do this on
my own. Because I do not see it.
It feels like lots of people out there might suffer from the same. Maybe not as heavy as I did
somewhen in the last year - but if this helps only one person understanding that they need to
become aware about their impostor’s syndrome before being completely shattered to the
ground, then all my words are worth it.
Now, what can I do to live a win-win life with my impostor’s syndrome?
I talked a lot about myself and my path, my journey in this article. I don't know if it would help. It
is not a big deal (hello, impostor’s syndrome speaking again), and maybe no-one will read
through the end. But this is what I get from being open, and I need to understand that the
uncertainty that comes with publishing those words, might influence myself with even more
questions my brain might fire at me.
Lot's of the following points actually can be distilled into one short and easy sentence:
"No matter what: You are worth it."
(I don't say that often enough to myself.)
Following I will line out some things I tried and that helped me on my way (some more, some
less). In the end it is up to you. Try, fail, improve; listen to yourself and what helps you. It is not
working if you just follow the rules and you gain nothing from it. Debug yourself. If things don't
feel good, leave them and experiment. It is easy as that (wow, that took me long to understand).
So: not easy as that, but more like running a marathon. In a swamp. Even if done slowly (and it
will be exhausting), it will lead to your goal. The good thing is, there is no-one to judge you
except yourself. Be kind to yourself; it is like learning a new language or instrument or a new
painting technique. It might take some time, but you will master it eventually. In your own time.
Do not compete. Do not compare. You are good enough. You are worth it.
This really should be your mantra. :)
The nice thing about the following points is, that you can also use them for your daily work that
is not miniature painting.
● Have a schedule of when you want to work on things.
With everything that you are learning or that you try to improve, there is a good way to
practice. When I was young, my music teacher told to practise at least half an hour a day
(max an hour) with my instrument. Try to get into a routine and do not do overtime , not
even if the brain commands you to - it won't help (at least it did not for me). If afternoon
shifts do not work, try getting up half an hour earlier. Experiment. Maybe you are happy
with only painting once a week. Stick to it.
● Come up with a plan on what you want to work on.
Write down the techniques you want to learn, the miniatures you want to paint. Plan.
Planning does not necessarily mean that you need to stick to it 100% (plans are not set
in stone). But it helps you focus on what topics are still there to tackle. And written down
topics can be ordered, scheduled and moved around. You can set your goals, and the
steps that you need to take to achieve your goals. Write it down. Make a plan. Even if
you don't stick to it, you know where you want to head.
● Make realistic goals.
Rome was not build in a day. If you want to learn a new technique, try it, make errors,
ask people, watch videos, read blog posts, and the most important thing: go to
workshops, meet people, connect. You are on your own road and journey, you will never
be a fraud there.
● Take before and after pictures of your miniatures
(or everything else you create).
It helps getting focus. You can see what changed in the time you painted, even if it is
only minimal. And having all pictures lined up near each other also might help to see the
progress and improvements you have made.
● Create a miniature diary and add
what you liked to work on that day.
Put in colour recipes that worked, brush strokes, random thoughts, ideas, base designs,
scribbles and drawing, pictures of the progress, everything that you find adds value to
your miniature experience. It will be little at first but it helps you getting your creative
energy flowing as soon as you revisit the pages.
● Keep a personal diary and write down
at least one achievement per day.
This can also just be a Post It hanging somewhere - the key idea is to visualize it so that
you can see it. This challenge might be hard in the first time, as you won't see
achievements a lot popping up. But try. Maybe it is something as tiny as getting a perfect
lining, a blending that you saw. Reading (or writing) a blog post that you always wanted
to do. There can be so many things.
● Whenever viewing other artists pictures,
don't get discouraged.
They all have different lives, different styles, different backgrounds. As written earlier: try
not to fall into the trap of comparison competition.
● Another thing to keep in mind and repeat as a mantra:
It is not talent (even though talent gives you a head start). It is hard work (also: hard work can be fun work!). It is hours and hours of practice and study. Don't expect to perfectly handle a new topic in one day.
● Don’t compare your life to someone’s Highlight Reel.
And yes, this most heavily applies to social media. The pictures that are shown only relate to
the achievements, normally not to all the failures on the way. No-one wants to look bad
on social media. Everyone is smiling. Stop thinking that other people only have luck in
their lives.
● If you suddenly feel like a fraud in a situation, voice it.
It is difficult and you need some trust and maybe a safe space to do so. But it helps to voice your concerns and that you feel you wouldn't fit. Take care and time to approach people. Voice what you need right then. Tell people you cannot engage into small talk right now. Tell them you only want to
listen for a while because you need to have some space or you don't know how to
handle social interaction right now. This might be awkward at the beginning, but making
people aware of your condition helps relieving the stress that your brain puts upon you.
● If you see someone cope with impostor’s syndrome,
don't approach them and tell them "Hey, you have impostor’s syndrome!". Guide them passively. Tell them about your own way, your journey about not feeling good enough, and eventually they will open up. Help them see their achievements and the way they already went, if you are already closer to them. Offer an open ear and a helping hand.
● Take a picture of your first and most recent miniature.
You will see the difference; you are not an impostor, you get better over time and this is your outcome. No-one else will paint like you do.
● Just so you have something to hold in your hands and re-read it to understand that you are valuable and good in what you do: ask people to write you Kudo cards (it’s a tool that is usually used to increase recognition of valued work). Tell them they should write down
what they value in your work, your hobby, what they admire about you, where you are
succeeding expectations for them. Let them visualise a picture of you, so that you can
catch your mind as soon as it is out of the window again, telling you that you are not
good enough.
● Try to hold on to praise once in a while, don't shy away and go into duck-and-cover position. Gain trust in the fact that people tend to mean what they say. Even when they
say that they like something built by you. :)
There could be a million more ways to get out of the dark hole into which the impostor’s
syndrome is pushing us. Most of the ways apply to any other situation as well, it is not only
hobby related, I know. But this might be the first step into the right direction.
I am still on my journey.
How about you?
Petra :)
Hey dear jungle dwellers,
just a quick note why the jungle is rather slow from my side these days.
I am going through some changes in private life right now and therefore energies are bound to these things. I can not help it. It is like it is. Do not worry, I am doing good. It is just that I am behind tasks such as organisational emails, shipping out the final charge of the MV challenge, answering messages all over the social places, prepping upcoming private coachings and weekend workshops and much more. I ask your pardon and patience as I see writing articles on MV not on the highest point on my priority list right now.
I am on it.
Push on, but mails and messages somehow do not get less :)
This does not mean I would like to stop throwing my thoughts and updates in the jungle, it is just getting irregular. I am off and do the things I need to do with ...
Find my personal music playlist that I am listening to while happy painting on youtube!
Keep on happy painting!
Roman
just a quick note why the jungle is rather slow from my side these days.
I am going through some changes in private life right now and therefore energies are bound to these things. I can not help it. It is like it is. Do not worry, I am doing good. It is just that I am behind tasks such as organisational emails, shipping out the final charge of the MV challenge, answering messages all over the social places, prepping upcoming private coachings and weekend workshops and much more. I ask your pardon and patience as I see writing articles on MV not on the highest point on my priority list right now.
I am on it.
Push on, but mails and messages somehow do not get less :)
This does not mean I would like to stop throwing my thoughts and updates in the jungle, it is just getting irregular. I am off and do the things I need to do with ...
Find my personal music playlist that I am listening to while happy painting on youtube!
Keep on happy painting!
Roman
Here is a short clarification
of our post about competitions from yesterday.
First of all we do not say competitions are bad or should be removed and of course we do not want to harm any show. We love them all, visit them and participate at them. Go and take part in competitions. It's fun and exciting!
Maybe our post was too long and too personal.
of our post about competitions from yesterday.
First of all we do not say competitions are bad or should be removed and of course we do not want to harm any show. We love them all, visit them and participate at them. Go and take part in competitions. It's fun and exciting!
Maybe our post was too long and too personal.
We would love to see an open mind towards out-of-competition. Combine
competition and exhibition. It is possible, happening here and there already in a very small scale and if it would grow bigger everyone would benefit
from it. Competition is less crowded, exhibition can have its own place
as an own category in the same area. Visitors can enjoy a competition
and an exhibition at the same time.
Painters can decide on their personal preferences where to enter.
To compete or not to compete, but the decision would be open to everyone and if both happening in the same spot all projects can be looked upon with the same equality, no matter if they are made for competing or not. People have their own reasons to enter competitions and have their own reasons to not enter competitions. They might differ from person to person.
All of the shows nowadays are based on a competition (with very few exceptions). So if you want to show your work in real life and meet other artists, you basically grow into a competition scene wether you like it or not.
Imagine you have 10 figures,
only one should take part in the competition, but you want to show them all. Or you don't want to compete at all. You are forced to place your work inside a arena where it has to compete.
A dedicated area inside the show room for out-of-competion would be a simple solution. Nothing fancy but maybe with name signs. Or even project signs. Everyone had this moment during a show where you thought, awesome work but who made this?! Respect the artists and don't hide them in the crowd. Of course in our case we do not have a problem with paying our cuts of fee to enter the competition/exhibition and we will do as we would like to support the event.
Long story short:
Some more alternatives to exhibit instead of competing, would be great. We are NOT saying fckcompetitions, we are saying we wish for more variety to let everyone decide for himself.
Is this a bad wish?
Change can be good.
Open for discussion as we have the feeling that many people take us for devils or evil spirits now and this is absolutely not our intention :)
Painters can decide on their personal preferences where to enter.
To compete or not to compete, but the decision would be open to everyone and if both happening in the same spot all projects can be looked upon with the same equality, no matter if they are made for competing or not. People have their own reasons to enter competitions and have their own reasons to not enter competitions. They might differ from person to person.
All of the shows nowadays are based on a competition (with very few exceptions). So if you want to show your work in real life and meet other artists, you basically grow into a competition scene wether you like it or not.
Imagine you have 10 figures,
only one should take part in the competition, but you want to show them all. Or you don't want to compete at all. You are forced to place your work inside a arena where it has to compete.
A dedicated area inside the show room for out-of-competion would be a simple solution. Nothing fancy but maybe with name signs. Or even project signs. Everyone had this moment during a show where you thought, awesome work but who made this?! Respect the artists and don't hide them in the crowd. Of course in our case we do not have a problem with paying our cuts of fee to enter the competition/exhibition and we will do as we would like to support the event.
Long story short:
Some more alternatives to exhibit instead of competing, would be great. We are NOT saying fckcompetitions, we are saying we wish for more variety to let everyone decide for himself.
Is this a bad wish?
Change can be good.
Open for discussion as we have the feeling that many people take us for devils or evil spirits now and this is absolutely not our intention :)
Hey jungle,
as you all know, MassiveVoodoo is a community of painters who share - together with our common hobby - a close friendship. Over the years all of us have evolved in their skills, thanks to the great chance of exchanging experiences and knowledge during long painting nights. We want to encourage all of you, to keep on happy painting and to stay hungry for new knowledge. Improving in your painting is not a question of talent, it´s more about regular practice and patience. None of us was born a good painter, we just evolved over the years.
So, Peter thought, it might be interesting for you to see, from which level he came, when he started painting display miniatures and how his experiences have affected his models over the years.
-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
As I have written in my self-description, I started painting display miniatures back in 2007/08. Before, I was a tabletop gamer and did some commissions while doing my studies. It feels like a lifetime ago, but thanks to my hard drive and the internet, I have found some old goodies. Let´s do a little journey through my gallery which developed very much in the last years. As you will see, I started like all of you: simple paintjobs, but enjoying the hobby very much.
2006:
The oldest picture I could find: my Grey Knights. Up to 2006 I was a regular gamer, but already cared very much about the look of my army. After my first armies (Warhammer Fantasy & 40k) where painted very quickly and efficient, I wanted my "Grey" Knights to appear more outstanding. I already had some years of painting experience and while working in the local GW-store in Augsburg and with the help of some gamer friends, I improved my techniques a lot. As you can see on the pictures, I was trying to make the armour look like made of cold lava, with some still hot, molten spots.
And here another goody: an old Vostroyan soldier which was a test miniature for a commission. I think you can call this the maximum of my skills in these times. Pretty good, I guess :-) sorry for the scary collage, I just used the original file I published in those days...
These miniatures where all done, when I met Roman for the first time, back in spring 2006. In the following years we had painting nights on a regular basis and he shared his knowledge about miniatures with me.
2009:
Now we have to skip some years. Sadly, I was not able to recover any pictures from my paintings in 2007 and 2008. As it seems, the internet is really "forgetting" things, at least my hard drive did so :-(
As you can see, my skills were developing a bit. In 2009 I had already stopped any tabletop gaming and was full into miniature painting. I lived very close to Roman´s place and we were painting very often. To be honest, it was quite a hard time for him. He wanted to teach me a lot of things, but I was a stubborn student with a lot of impatience. I recall when we were painting our projects for a competition in the local GW store. I had one of the "new" Juggernauts on my table and Roman gave me a lot of input about painting metallics and eye catching effects. I would say, he did at least 50% of the miniature. Funfact: In the end I made 1st place with the Juggernaut, he placed 3rd with his own project ;-)
2010:
This is the only miniature I painted in 2010 due to my final exams and my 3-month-internship in Egypt. As you can see, I did not make any big progress in my skills. Time was short and sadly I had a big lack of motivation. If I recall right, I was thinking about quitting the whole hobby.
2011:
Things changed in 2011. In this year, I made the biggest developments so far, which supports the theory of a high always following upon a down. I was painting a lot with Raffa and Roman, which were supporting me with advice and sharing their own experiences. As you can see in the following picture, I took my first attempts in painting zenithal light.
This was one of my first historical miniatures. I had already painted a Gladiator back in 2009, but as I stripped it off paint, I call this here my first "finished" 54mm miniature. I like the leather-effect and the unwittingly slight attempts to atmosphere-painting.
Many of you will know the "situation" when I painted this demonette. It was one of Roman´s early painting classes and the first class I have ever joined. It had the same effect on me like on so many other students. It was some kind of eye-opening event. I learnt a lot about color theory and was now able to further improve my skills.
Then, my first big diorama: The Rising. At the beginning I wanted to do a complete different project, but struggled very hard with it. In April we were doing some kind of painting bootcamp with 8 painters at Raffa´s place to prepare our projects for Duke of Bavaria. All of them invested their knowledge and gave me input for the project, Raffa even sculpted the necromancer. I call The Rising a project of friendship and it´s still one of my favourite pieces in my cabinet.
After:
2013:
More pictures!
as you all know, MassiveVoodoo is a community of painters who share - together with our common hobby - a close friendship. Over the years all of us have evolved in their skills, thanks to the great chance of exchanging experiences and knowledge during long painting nights. We want to encourage all of you, to keep on happy painting and to stay hungry for new knowledge. Improving in your painting is not a question of talent, it´s more about regular practice and patience. None of us was born a good painter, we just evolved over the years.
So, Peter thought, it might be interesting for you to see, from which level he came, when he started painting display miniatures and how his experiences have affected his models over the years.
-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
As I have written in my self-description, I started painting display miniatures back in 2007/08. Before, I was a tabletop gamer and did some commissions while doing my studies. It feels like a lifetime ago, but thanks to my hard drive and the internet, I have found some old goodies. Let´s do a little journey through my gallery which developed very much in the last years. As you will see, I started like all of you: simple paintjobs, but enjoying the hobby very much.
2006:
The oldest picture I could find: my Grey Knights. Up to 2006 I was a regular gamer, but already cared very much about the look of my army. After my first armies (Warhammer Fantasy & 40k) where painted very quickly and efficient, I wanted my "Grey" Knights to appear more outstanding. I already had some years of painting experience and while working in the local GW-store in Augsburg and with the help of some gamer friends, I improved my techniques a lot. As you can see on the pictures, I was trying to make the armour look like made of cold lava, with some still hot, molten spots.
And here another goody: an old Vostroyan soldier which was a test miniature for a commission. I think you can call this the maximum of my skills in these times. Pretty good, I guess :-) sorry for the scary collage, I just used the original file I published in those days...
These miniatures where all done, when I met Roman for the first time, back in spring 2006. In the following years we had painting nights on a regular basis and he shared his knowledge about miniatures with me.
2009:
Now we have to skip some years. Sadly, I was not able to recover any pictures from my paintings in 2007 and 2008. As it seems, the internet is really "forgetting" things, at least my hard drive did so :-(
As you can see, my skills were developing a bit. In 2009 I had already stopped any tabletop gaming and was full into miniature painting. I lived very close to Roman´s place and we were painting very often. To be honest, it was quite a hard time for him. He wanted to teach me a lot of things, but I was a stubborn student with a lot of impatience. I recall when we were painting our projects for a competition in the local GW store. I had one of the "new" Juggernauts on my table and Roman gave me a lot of input about painting metallics and eye catching effects. I would say, he did at least 50% of the miniature. Funfact: In the end I made 1st place with the Juggernaut, he placed 3rd with his own project ;-)
2010:
This is the only miniature I painted in 2010 due to my final exams and my 3-month-internship in Egypt. As you can see, I did not make any big progress in my skills. Time was short and sadly I had a big lack of motivation. If I recall right, I was thinking about quitting the whole hobby.
2011:
Things changed in 2011. In this year, I made the biggest developments so far, which supports the theory of a high always following upon a down. I was painting a lot with Raffa and Roman, which were supporting me with advice and sharing their own experiences. As you can see in the following picture, I took my first attempts in painting zenithal light.
This was one of my first historical miniatures. I had already painted a Gladiator back in 2009, but as I stripped it off paint, I call this here my first "finished" 54mm miniature. I like the leather-effect and the unwittingly slight attempts to atmosphere-painting.
Many of you will know the "situation" when I painted this demonette. It was one of Roman´s early painting classes and the first class I have ever joined. It had the same effect on me like on so many other students. It was some kind of eye-opening event. I learnt a lot about color theory and was now able to further improve my skills.
Then, my first big diorama: The Rising. At the beginning I wanted to do a complete different project, but struggled very hard with it. In April we were doing some kind of painting bootcamp with 8 painters at Raffa´s place to prepare our projects for Duke of Bavaria. All of them invested their knowledge and gave me input for the project, Raffa even sculpted the necromancer. I call The Rising a project of friendship and it´s still one of my favourite pieces in my cabinet.
In this year, I also had one of my most known "happy little accidents": I melted a Pegaso Gladiator. What happened? Back then, I was starting to use oil colors and in order to fasten the drying process, I put the miniature regularly into my old gas oven. Everything worked fine and I was very proud about the new level I took when it comes to painting skin. But the gods of painting where having their funny day, and during the last drying process, the white metal was too weakend and broke right above the ankles. The miniature fell down onto the heat plate and melted. Everything happens for a reason....
Before:
After:
2012:
In this year, I had to leave Augsburg and started my new job in Reutlingen. I still kept contact with Roman and Raffa and visited them as often as possible. But I would say it was an important step in my development as a painter. I had to use my knowledge I accumulated without having somebody in the back in case something went wrong. I also made my first attempts on busts, a Norman Knight (Young Miniatures).
Another bust quickly followed: a Ghoul... and here we have another happy accident. The bust was a present for Roman. He took the bust home, bust sadly one of his cats found big interest in it: it gnawed on the bust. Roman took the chance and improved the bust by painting all the gnaw marks as bloody scars. Everything happens...
2013:
I joined Roman on a lot of his classes and supported him as some kind of "sidekick". It was a new experience for me. By helping his students, I was able to fix my own knowledge even when I was not painting so regularly anymore. But the classes gave me the chance to start new, simple projects and to finish them in three days. The Predator was started and finished during the Beginner Class in Schöppenstedt.
The lessons learnt were already influencing my other stuff. In this time my painting style was quite dark and grim. I tried to tell my stories on more and more detailed bases.
I was also able to get new input. I took part in Karol Rudyk´s class in Berlin. It was an interesting experience to meet a painter with so many skills and a complete different approach towards his miniatures. If you have the chance, take part in one of his classes and enjoy the flying (word!) brushes full of colors. The most important lesson learnt: maximize contrast!
2014:
In 2014 I had some of the famous "click"-moments. While painting my miniatures, somehow the experiences which I made over the last years came together, somehow making sense and pushing me foreward.
Theseus´ Destiny was born out of a simple idea I developed with some friends during a painting bootcamp in my flat. I wanted to do something complete new and do "two" scenes, which are connected to each other, in a single project. My most favourite piece until today!
Sha´Un was basically a study about rust. I likr beastmen very much and in my imagination these human/animals don´t care a lot about their armour. The special effects from ModelMates helped here, but I used different other materials to get as close as possible to natural rust.
I also joined a class with Fernado Ruiz to get more technical input. Same as with Karol´s class in 2014, it helped me push my understanding of painting further. This times, it was more about volumes and different materials.
2015:
The year started with another class. Alfonso Giraldes visited Augsburg and held a three day class with a big group of well-experienced painters. It was a fascinating weekend and my brain was full with his approach towards color and painting. I began to get rid of the ideas about the "perfect blending" and to find my fun in painting again. Just happy painting with powerful colors, not forcing yourself towards perfection.
Sadly, I was pretty stressed during the rest of the year. My job was annoying and I was preparing to change it, which included moving to Stuttgart. I started some projects, but none of them got finished. I even started a small 40k-army project, but it never made it over the first concept miniature.
2016:
This year turned out to be one of my best years in painting so far. After I moved to Stuttgart and was able to visit Augsburg more often, my mood calmed and I was more motivated into painting again. Two events were very important for this: first, Roman gave me a Privat Coaching at the beginning of the year. Second, I took part in Roman´s Advanced Class. Both were mainly about painting atmosphere, but also helped me improve my techniques.
Abalam was painted during the Privat Coaching:
Hayden was painted during the Advanced Class:
The Mountain Ogre was more a personal study in regards to painting details and volumes in a short time.
Cheers,
Peter
In 2014 I had some of the famous "click"-moments. While painting my miniatures, somehow the experiences which I made over the last years came together, somehow making sense and pushing me foreward.
Theseus´ Destiny was born out of a simple idea I developed with some friends during a painting bootcamp in my flat. I wanted to do something complete new and do "two" scenes, which are connected to each other, in a single project. My most favourite piece until today!
Sha´Un was basically a study about rust. I likr beastmen very much and in my imagination these human/animals don´t care a lot about their armour. The special effects from ModelMates helped here, but I used different other materials to get as close as possible to natural rust.
I also joined a class with Fernado Ruiz to get more technical input. Same as with Karol´s class in 2014, it helped me push my understanding of painting further. This times, it was more about volumes and different materials.
2015:
The year started with another class. Alfonso Giraldes visited Augsburg and held a three day class with a big group of well-experienced painters. It was a fascinating weekend and my brain was full with his approach towards color and painting. I began to get rid of the ideas about the "perfect blending" and to find my fun in painting again. Just happy painting with powerful colors, not forcing yourself towards perfection.
Sadly, I was pretty stressed during the rest of the year. My job was annoying and I was preparing to change it, which included moving to Stuttgart. I started some projects, but none of them got finished. I even started a small 40k-army project, but it never made it over the first concept miniature.
2016:
This year turned out to be one of my best years in painting so far. After I moved to Stuttgart and was able to visit Augsburg more often, my mood calmed and I was more motivated into painting again. Two events were very important for this: first, Roman gave me a Privat Coaching at the beginning of the year. Second, I took part in Roman´s Advanced Class. Both were mainly about painting atmosphere, but also helped me improve my techniques.
Abalam was painted during the Privat Coaching:
Hayden was painted during the Advanced Class:
I would say that because of both events, I had another, very intense "click"-moment. The two projects, I finished afterwards were much more detailed and more intense in regard to color intensity.
The Roman Centurion was started in early 2015 and remained as a WiP in the cabinet for a long time. When looking at it, I can see some elements from my old way of painting, but also some first attempts in using an atmospheric painting.
The Mountain Ogre was more a personal study in regards to painting details and volumes in a short time.
Today, when I look at my painting table I can already see further developments. I paint more freely and without any force. I enjoy my hobby, even if it sometimes causes trouble and heavy thoughts. I have learnt, that there are always ups and downs. There is no way in changing this and no sense in even trying to force you to anything. But by ending this (quite long) article, I´m proud about the development of my painting skills over the last ten years.
I hope you have enjoyed this article and it helps you understand two important things:
- Development needs time, but with additional/new input, patience and practice you will go forward.
- Paint with friends and discuss your projects. By giving detailed feedback and sharing your knowledge you will become more sure of it and others will also have the chance to develop.
Cheers,
Peter
Heyho Jungle dwellers,
this post is about praising to very kind persons.
Lorenzo - who we got to know during last years private coaching session - sent us a big parcel with italian candy from his local area and well, I would loved myself to manage to get some photos of it, but with Raffa and our girls seeing the parcel it was quickly split up and enjoyed. So, so, so great of you, Lorenzo! Many thanks to you! What a big surprise it was!! Best Wishes from all of us!
While I was heading for the studio once I made this cool photo of a famous place in my hometown - it is the major hall and there is one big golden room inside. As you can see on the photo I was on the outside but enjoyed how all that glitter and gold was seen through the windows ... beside this was the place were we went for dinner with Lorenzo. Not the golden room indeed but in the basement of the townhall. Good Memories.
Another person I want to thank deeply is Kyle aka M R Lee - whom I did sent a parcel myself lately - who did sent over also a surprise for the jungle - we had no idea what to expect in it:
Well, after opening up I knew why he said he thought this would fit perfectly for the jungle. We found a good place for it. Two Bananas pointing at the yellow jungle door:
Thanks for the cool canvas, Kyle.
Well, I am already done with packing, shaving and getting ready for another one of Jar's Beginner's Painting class, this time in Aschaffenburg. Jumping the car in about two hours I am happy to have Raffa with me for the ride and the class. Packing all that stuff always is a quest for itself:
So far, read you after the weekend and don't forget to enjoy some happy painting time for you!
Best Wishes
Roman
this post is about praising to very kind persons.
Lorenzo - who we got to know during last years private coaching session - sent us a big parcel with italian candy from his local area and well, I would loved myself to manage to get some photos of it, but with Raffa and our girls seeing the parcel it was quickly split up and enjoyed. So, so, so great of you, Lorenzo! Many thanks to you! What a big surprise it was!! Best Wishes from all of us!
While I was heading for the studio once I made this cool photo of a famous place in my hometown - it is the major hall and there is one big golden room inside. As you can see on the photo I was on the outside but enjoyed how all that glitter and gold was seen through the windows ... beside this was the place were we went for dinner with Lorenzo. Not the golden room indeed but in the basement of the townhall. Good Memories.
Another person I want to thank deeply is Kyle aka M R Lee - whom I did sent a parcel myself lately - who did sent over also a surprise for the jungle - we had no idea what to expect in it:
Well, after opening up I knew why he said he thought this would fit perfectly for the jungle. We found a good place for it. Two Bananas pointing at the yellow jungle door:
Thanks for the cool canvas, Kyle.
Well, I am already done with packing, shaving and getting ready for another one of Jar's Beginner's Painting class, this time in Aschaffenburg. Jumping the car in about two hours I am happy to have Raffa with me for the ride and the class. Packing all that stuff always is a quest for itself:
Yet there is still more :D
So far, read you after the weekend and don't forget to enjoy some happy painting time for you!
Best Wishes
Roman
Hey jungle people,
this time it is something totally different.
A good fellow painter friend of us, Sebastian is pretty succesful with playing paintball in his team "Comin at ya".
In Germany they are playing in the first league, but that is not all: two times they placed second place in the world championship, two times they have been german champions in the highest league - He is playing in the national team too ... and even more. So you see he is really serious on this game.
We want to thank him with this post! Why?
If you look close enough you can see a MV sticker on his paintball marker :)
Many thanks to Photomonkey for providing this great shot!
Thanks, Sebastian!
Plow! Plow!
posted by roman, jarhead, kong
Posted by Raffaele "Picster" Picca
Hey everyone,
I am very proud to show you my latest, finished project "Touch of Death" today, here on the blog.
Why am I proud? Because I walked a very, very hard way to finally show it here. Most of the things that made the way so hard are very personal things I won't post here on the blog. But it was by far the thoughest project so far...
Some short facts about the project before the photos:
- Around 450 hours of work, including 3D work, concept phase, planning, sculpting, painting and working on the base.
- 5 weeks of time.
- 39 consumed energy drinks (Red Bull & Relentless ;-)
- Everything on the project is sculpted completely by myself except the birds on the trees (those are sold by Preiser)
- Sculpting putty was mostly a mix of Uro and Super Sculpey (thanks again to Tue Kaae for showing me this awesome mix). Fimo and Super Sculpey Firm were also used.
- Most of the plants are stuff found in our forests except the fern, the fern is laser cut paper manufactured by Fredericus Rex (Green Line)
Edit: You can now find a lot of background information about the project here:
Touch of Death - Sculpting
Touch of Death - Painting
I made this project to bring it to the Crystal Brush in Chicago, if you check out the post before this one, you will find a summary of Romans and my travel experiences. It was an awesome trip!
After all my project made the third place in the competition, which was, to be honest, dissappointing to me. But life goes on and as long as you can focus on what is important in life, it is easier to take such a situation as it is.
Maybe it is an artist thing, or maybe a human thing, but most people seem to always seek love and acknowledgement... but by "losing" I learned to not strife for things I will never get by painting a figure. I get love and acknowledgement every single day by my loving fiancé, my great friends and family. And this knowledge is worth much more than 10.000 dollars.
The theme of this work is, in my opinion, not the fight of a rotting undead giant against a wood elf. My interpretation is about mankind and nature, how greed can destroy every aspect of nature and invade a world that existed long before mankind even existed. See the giant as a incarnation of mankind and maybe you see the project in the same way that I do. Not as a fight of death against life (that's what I tried to show in a visual way), but mankind's cruel antic against nature.
Why I write "in my opinion"? Because this project leaves a lot of free space to make up your own interpretation of the story.
Anyway. I don't want to strain you anymore with my talk ;)
I really hope you enjoy the photos and to see you the coming weekend in Ingolstadt on the Duke of Bavaria, where I will put "Touch of Death" into competition :)
And be sure to check the blog regulary the next days for a lot of work in progress photos starting tommorrow with the sculpting part.
Best wishes,
Raffa
Hey everyone,
I am very proud to show you my latest, finished project "Touch of Death" today, here on the blog.
Why am I proud? Because I walked a very, very hard way to finally show it here. Most of the things that made the way so hard are very personal things I won't post here on the blog. But it was by far the thoughest project so far...
- Around 450 hours of work, including 3D work, concept phase, planning, sculpting, painting and working on the base.
- 5 weeks of time.
- 39 consumed energy drinks (Red Bull & Relentless ;-)
- Everything on the project is sculpted completely by myself except the birds on the trees (those are sold by Preiser)
- Sculpting putty was mostly a mix of Uro and Super Sculpey (thanks again to Tue Kaae for showing me this awesome mix). Fimo and Super Sculpey Firm were also used.
- Most of the plants are stuff found in our forests except the fern, the fern is laser cut paper manufactured by Fredericus Rex (Green Line)
Edit: You can now find a lot of background information about the project here:
Touch of Death - Sculpting
Touch of Death - Painting
I made this project to bring it to the Crystal Brush in Chicago, if you check out the post before this one, you will find a summary of Romans and my travel experiences. It was an awesome trip!
After all my project made the third place in the competition, which was, to be honest, dissappointing to me. But life goes on and as long as you can focus on what is important in life, it is easier to take such a situation as it is.
Maybe it is an artist thing, or maybe a human thing, but most people seem to always seek love and acknowledgement... but by "losing" I learned to not strife for things I will never get by painting a figure. I get love and acknowledgement every single day by my loving fiancé, my great friends and family. And this knowledge is worth much more than 10.000 dollars.
The theme of this work is, in my opinion, not the fight of a rotting undead giant against a wood elf. My interpretation is about mankind and nature, how greed can destroy every aspect of nature and invade a world that existed long before mankind even existed. See the giant as a incarnation of mankind and maybe you see the project in the same way that I do. Not as a fight of death against life (that's what I tried to show in a visual way), but mankind's cruel antic against nature.
Why I write "in my opinion"? Because this project leaves a lot of free space to make up your own interpretation of the story.
Anyway. I don't want to strain you anymore with my talk ;)
Touch of Death
overall view
detail view
life
death
sculpting
I really hope you enjoy the photos and to see you the coming weekend in Ingolstadt on the Duke of Bavaria, where I will put "Touch of Death" into competition :)
And be sure to check the blog regulary the next days for a lot of work in progress photos starting tommorrow with the sculpting part.
Best wishes,
Raffa
posted by roman, jarhead, kong
Hi jungle wanderer!
This time it is about a little report on Felix visiting us last week. Felix is a friend of Raffa, Bene and me.
We met during a painting class in Soest where he helped to organise the event. Some of you might know him from events as he is often around, a very nice guy with very cool figures. We planned to meet up for a while now, but never made it. Finally, we made it last Friday, as Felix was our guest for two nights.
Even Bene showed up. Somehow very cool, as Bene was traveling with us in the car to the painting class in Soest. We did not know Bene or Felix properly until after the class and so it was very funny to come together in the same line up.
We had some massive painting time, funny talks and a lot of good and bad music. Really a cool day! Felix brought his figures too and he is carrying it in a damn awesome box, see the pictures above! We had a closer look on his figures and truly: This guys brushwork rocks! Felix made me speechless in giving the guy with Pumpkins to me as an exchange for my exchange figure I gave to him last year.
Raffa recieved the Mexican bust as a total surprise and I am looking forward to see what Raffa will create for Felix one day.
Again, gentleman ... thanks for such a great painting day and night!
Hi jungle wanderer!
This time it is about a little report on Felix visiting us last week. Felix is a friend of Raffa, Bene and me.
We met during a painting class in Soest where he helped to organise the event. Some of you might know him from events as he is often around, a very nice guy with very cool figures. We planned to meet up for a while now, but never made it. Finally, we made it last Friday, as Felix was our guest for two nights.
Even Bene showed up. Somehow very cool, as Bene was traveling with us in the car to the painting class in Soest. We did not know Bene or Felix properly until after the class and so it was very funny to come together in the same line up.
We had some massive painting time, funny talks and a lot of good and bad music. Really a cool day! Felix brought his figures too and he is carrying it in a damn awesome box, see the pictures above! We had a closer look on his figures and truly: This guys brushwork rocks! Felix made me speechless in giving the guy with Pumpkins to me as an exchange for my exchange figure I gave to him last year.
Raffa recieved the Mexican bust as a total surprise and I am looking forward to see what Raffa will create for Felix one day.
Again, gentleman ... thanks for such a great painting day and night!
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